Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I’m Jason.

The woods surround you. Have you been here before? The sun has gone down. Only a small bit of light comes around the corners of the earth to see you, illuminating only enough to make out the shape of the place you stand in. there are many trees. Lots of yellow brush on the ground. A few very large rocks. Can you hear water? I hear water. Lets go find it.
Follow the sound. Your feet lift and walk. You find that your legs are sore. How long must you have been standing in that spot?
How did you get here?

Do you remember how you came here?
Who are you?
I’m Jason.
Ok, we know your name.

you walk outside of the field you stood within, into the trees that surround you. They have grown taller as you’ve gone nearer to them. Are there birds up there? They’re so quiet. They must be sitting in their nests with their babies right now, dark, big fat birds, beginning to sleep away the night
into the trees, below their cover. Follow your path
you’re following your instincts
what told you to do this? Nothing did, you just started following your feelings in a direction
as if you know you were meant to from the beginning

water becomes louder

I never had a pet dinosaur when I was a kid.

I never had a pet dinosaur when I was a kid. I never had a favorite bird out my window, a certain dog I liked to watch cross the park, a favorite doll, a funny uncle I liked the best, a secret friend, invisible friend..
I had me. I had multiple me’s. there is one inside me that’s evil. And there is me. I am my body. The evil part of me is inside. Its secret. Im not sposed to tell people about her. She’s bad. She’s mean. She doesn’t like anyone but herself. She makes me do mean things and talks me into believing they are right.
I don’t know what right is ever. I’m confused about what right could be. I hope that I am doing it always, but do I really? I still haven’t sent jimmy that letter. I still haven’t written a book. I still haven’t
I am not bad
Do not guilt yourself
Do not guilt yourself
Go to sleep

Donald's shoelaces

Donald was a strange man. He never tied his shoes. If someone were to approach him and comment, in whatever fashion, weather ‘hey. Your shoes untied !’ or ‘ sir, not to be unkind but I do believe your shoe lace is abroad’ he would freeze up. Probably stop whatever it was he was doing and veeery slooowly turn his head the commentator’s way. His eyes would be wide and discomforting, and he would most likely, after holding eye contact for a good uncomfortable hot second, find a way to scurry to safety.
He has in fact tripped on his shoelaces while escaping scenarios like this.

Can you imagine why it is Donald is so incapable of 1. Tying his shoes and 2. Being reminded that he should?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

i feel swells when i hold the crystals to my chest
one is for my lover and the other is misunderstood
the one i wear around my neck has replaced it's livelihood
but it is still beautiful

bright orange and blurry thick white. to much

carl's is clear white and purple at the tip

UPDATE august 17th 2010:
i threw the crystal necklace off a cliff into the woods by the ocean last night after having sex with a boy i met. -on the cliff. i felt for some reason that i shouldn't wear it any longer. it had been giving me bad energy i think. after smoking weed, i'd remove it and instantly feel a weight lifted from my chest- more than just the weight of the rock though, a magnetic sort of weight. I could think more clearly and without fear when not wearing the crystal.
my back was cut up whilst fucking on the cliff. its sore today. i like it. my little cousin had to clean the cuts with a washcloth and rubbing alcohol. it stung badly and i chased her with each breast in a hand, clamping them together like a mouth. brilliant.