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im in fucking love with the city i made up in my head that i want to live in and its PROBABLY not new york and its DEFINITELY not chicago but it IS This: a lot of weed. a million little brats to get into trouble with, a small white blue trimmed house in the middle of a largely populated section of a city that is similar to carmel CA, mindecino or nevada city. Maybe its san fransisco. the house is 1 story, and all the buildings around it are at least two if not 15, and there are green vines coming off of it in sparatic places. I am inside, with my cats, my books, my career, and my children. 1 boy and 1 girl. they watch movies like 'the mascot,' that old stop animation with the devils and the oranges, and don't even know the word disney, pop tart, mcdonalds or... ok maybe they will. but they'll also know its bad. i'll tell them that when we EAT it together. Jimmy will be there teaching them ti quan do and jew jits sue. and jimmy's kids will come visit maybe.

pie christ

its the second day of school and you're spacing really hard
are you even gunna make it?



spend more time with my fish reading cookbooks if i put if it the kitchen when i get it

stormy just like jelly rolls


pie christ
what if pie christ was real

carls face is a screaming white tiger

he was leaving
when he came around the door to peak at me
i hid
he came forward
i went forward and he retreated around the door
i looked over the door
saw him
making the same face
he came forward quickly and i went back a little and his face came close and in my mind i saw a screaming white tiger, a species i'd never seen before-a fishlike muscly leafy tentacle mouth things all around its face opening like a flower, different little black marks on some of them in different places, yellow eyes, pink gums and big long sharp teeth, tongue, frizzled nose, screaming looking at me in place of carls face
and then he was carl again and my head was on his shoulder lips placed to his neck
i made a quick sob noise in fear but he didn't notice what it was i think i hope, i reminded myself to smile and not to fear anything

he stepped away and i asked 'are you a lizard?' and he said 'ha, nooo' and looked down. 'I think you're a lizard' i said and he replied looking up at me 'well i do think i have some of the blood' and i said 'i think you do to, because, i see things, and, your face was weird'

as he stepped down the steps sortof falling in different directions because we were both stoned he looked up at me kindof laughing, 'that's cool,' he shook his finger looked away a bit and back 'that you said that about me.' he smiled and walked down the stairs falling in different directions

just walking outside is an opportunity to socialize and meet new people, don’t sell yourself short spend more time with my fish reading cookbooks if i put if it the kitchen when i get it

I know my dad.

I know my daddy's dreamt about being in a caravan of gypsies. i know my dad has dreamed of traveling with the circus. i know my daddy's dreamt of russian trailers with goats and tiny men. I know my daddy and i know the way his soul bends

I’m Jason.

The woods surround you. Have you been here before? The sun has gone down. Only a small bit of light comes around the corners of the earth to see you, illuminating only enough to make out the shape of the place you stand in. there are many trees. Lots of yellow brush on the ground. A few very large rocks. Can you hear water? I hear water. Lets go find it.
Follow the sound. Your feet lift and walk. You find that your legs are sore. How long must you have been standing in that spot?
How did you get here?

Do you remember how you came here?
No.
Who are you?
I’m Jason.
Ok, we know your name.

…
you walk outside of the field you stood within, into the trees that surround you. They have grown taller as you’ve gone nearer to them. Are there birds up there? They’re so quiet. They must be sitting in their nests with their babies right now, dark, big fat birds, beginning to sleep away the night
into the trees, below their cover. Follow your path
you’re following your instincts
what told you to do this? Nothing did, you just started following your feelings in a direction
as if you know you were meant to from the beginning

water becomes louder